Episode 10

Unfinished Business

5 Steps To Clearing It- With Erin Gray


Unfinished Business & How it is Wrecking Your Fertility


Our topic today on Unfinished Business may feel really uncomfortable but it can be a game changer. It’s worth every ounce of your energy to shine a light on it so you don’t have to spend an eternity’s worth of energy repressing it. I am joined by the great Erin Gray and together we cover our definition of unfinished business, give specific details on how they could affect fertility, share some exercises to release repressed emotion, and help you decide when you may need to seek professional help on this topic.

Today's sponsor is Organic Conceptions, the online program designed to help you work through the emotions of an infertility journey with your partner yielding a better understanding of yourself, each other, and your relationship, all from the comfort of your own home.


[2:35] Disclaimer: This is a messy yet powerful topic. It only seems overwhelming because it may be something that’s been hidden away for a long long time, what we like to call a sleeping dragon. It’s really rather simple to address though and we’ve seen it be the difference maker in some really tough cases.

[3:03] Erin’s definition of unfinished business is anything that could be getting between you and an unsuccessful pregnancy or anything that doesn’t seem complete.

[5:45] Long before something hits your physical system, it has first run through your energetic, emotional and mental system. This is important to understand for treating and supporting all aspects and being sure not to blame yourself.

[9:35] We give some examples and more detail about sleeping dragons that need to be set free to open up your fertility. Some of these may include miscarriage, abortion, divorce, ‘ex’ relationships, kids from another relationship, fear of change or losing identity, inculturation, affairs, losing your body, remorse over past medical decisions, family relationships.

[27:37] We share some exercises for you to do on a separate piece of paper to just yourself.


[29:36] If you experience feelings of shame, crying, big emotions like anger or resistance, shutting down, or disassociation, physical feelings like those are the sleeping dragons and it’s very healthy and OK to get professional help.

[31:14] What are the steps to cleaning up our unfinished business?

  • Realize it may not be as big of a mess as you think it is.
  • Own your mess. No blame allowed here, only righteous ownership.
  • Decide if you need help, and what type of help works best for you.
  • Forgiveness of self or those that are involved.
  • Realize that just because you had unfinished business, it isn't a prognosis suggesting infertility. This is about you doing the work that is required to make sure there are no loose ends energetically because this is work only YOU can do.

[35:02] The mind is truly a powerful tool. We’ve witnessed this be a game changer for women that had multiple failed IVFs who went on to conceive naturally, to Advanced Maternal Age cases, to Sperm Donor cases where the pregnancy finally took after unearthing and addressing some unfinished business, so we know this is powerful stuff.

[36:56] We provide a quiz to hear more from you and to give you some of our expert advice on this topic.


Continue Your Journey:

Caroline Myss

Christiane Northrup