Permission to Pause
Advice for what to do when you or someone you love has a miscarriage.
Description: Welcome back and happy 2018 to you. I am happy to be back in the new year and to be able to share some insights with you. Today’s episode covers the tough topic of giving yourself permission to pause when you or someone you love is experiencing grief. My lovely co-host Erin Gray and I discuss how we
help ourselves or another through profound loss, specifically a miscarriage. I provide a mini-meditation to open us up to love and warmth, then we share on the topics regarding ritual, things to say and not say to others that are grieving, and how to reach out when you are feeling most alone and isolated. This show is dedicated to all of those who have recently lost someone. You know who you are and we are here for you.
Takeaways
[2:59] I share a little of my experience with loss and grieving during the recent months. We open up discussing the parallels between Alzheimer’s and not really knowing the person, with a miscarriage and others not feeling a connection with a potential life.
[5:42] Understanding and allowing for things to not be okay for a period of time is one of the main key factors to ride through and weather the tough times of loss and grief.
[12:55] We do a quick meditation to help bring in some warmth and light for those suffering a loss, or helping someone else who may be experiencing loss.
[16:24] The stages of grief are: depression, anger, bargaining, denial, and acceptance. It is totally normal to go in and out of these stages very intensely in no particular order, or even block out several of them before feeling them completely.
[24:33] Shame lives in secrets. The more open and authentic one can be with themselves and their loved ones about what they are going through, the easier it is to grieve.
[39:19] Ritual helps us say goodbye, let go, and accommodate a new reality. It is also an opportunity for those grieving to come together and support one another.
[49:12] We discuss the things not to say to someone that is grieving. No spiritual arrogance, minimizing their pain or trying to force another person’s example upon them. It is okay to say nothing, and even admit that you may not know exactly what to say, but you are there to support them.
References:
Polishing the Mirror: How to Live from Your Spiritual Heart, by Ram Dass