EPISODE 58 | MINI MINDFUL MOMENT | Moving From "I Deserve" to "I Have."

Hey there, Hilary here. Your go-to gal to help you form a plan to reclaim your fertility and create a healthy family for generations to come, all while staying sane along the way. I've got another mini-mindful moment for you today to help you combat the stress  I know you are bombarded by on your fertility journey.

Today's meditation is an excerpt from my new 30 days of fertility meditations program if you want instant access to more meditations just like this one, along with writing prompts and calming images to take your medication in to your day and to go deeper, just head over to LadyPotions.com and click the meditations tab to find the link to purchase or the tab that says, "Work with me."

I'm sure you've heard time and time again that stress negatively affects fertility and pregnancy, I'm sure that you've been told on more than one occasion to just relax and it will happen, that probably really makes you stress out maybe, even want to punch that person. Now, you can't exactly go around cutting all the stress out of your life. I mean, fertility challenges alone are stressful, your partner or your job could be your main source of stress so what are you supposed to do? Give up? Quit? Not a chance.

You make a game out of making friends with your stress response, you acknowledge it. You know what's going to happen and you get good at catching it before it becomes a freight train careening out of control, then you see how fast you can change your stress response into a relaxation response by trying on one of these little beauties from our mini-mindful moment's installments.

Meditation and mindfulness techniques and the ability to turn on our parasympathetic nervous system or what's known as "the breed and feed part" of our minds. Our evidence-based practices that not only enhance the fertility but they can also help you hold a pregnancy, even if it's high-risk.

Remember, it's not stress that's enemy, it's how fast we can get back into the relaxed state that really matters. I don't know about you, but this is not something that I was taught when I was younger. I had to go looking to find how to do this on my own and that's exactly why I've created this for you.

These mini-relaxation techniques are quick, easy to apply throughout your day and restore your relaxation response in moments. Keeping your mind broadcasting the message to your body that it's a safe time and place to create life. Helping you feel back in control of your stress and ready to conceive.

Today's meditation has to do with your ability to move from the mindset of " I deserve", which is actually a victim based mindset, into the mindset of "I have" as if it already happened. We are racing our biological clock or leading a life where we are trying to cram in everything all at once. It is very easy to push the body past as normal limits. We begin to deplete our adrenal glands in the name of achieving, forgetting that adrenaline is a precious substance to be used wisely instead of freely.

Unfortunately, the more we pump our adrenaline by overextending ourselves, chugging coffee and energy drinks, staying up too late, binging on sugar, the more addicted we become to this state. When we start to get depleted we become emotionally leaky and the recording in our head starts to whine saying, " I deserve." Instead of recognizing all that you have, pushing you to keep overextending yourself, keeping you trapped in a cycle of exhaustion and ill satisfaction.

The next time you hear yourself or your partners say, "I deserve" or "I want." Try replacing it with "We have so much." The reason for this is that like attracts like, the shift in thinking in speech will help to magnetize us into a place to receive more abundance into our lives. It will help us to create the lives we desire through a sense of gratitude rather than a sense of entitlement.

It is said that the root chakra governs our adrenaline glands and the connection with our nervous system that decides when and how much of a state of fight-or-flight we will be in, has a response to any thought, conversation or experience we have. Our second chakra covers our reproductive hormones, largely in part to the messages it receives from the root chakra.

If adrenaline is flowing our sex hormones are not. Not only does this deplete our ability to physically create healthy offspring, it also depletes our libido and our desire to connect because when adrenaline is high, it sends the message to every single cell that we are not safe. Most women need to feel safe and a desire to connect before sex even enters our minds.

 When we try to make a baby from this state, it becomes one more thing that we have to cross off our list or achieve rather than a product of desire state of union with our partner. We're in a constant mountain-climbing of achieving, the idea that a baby is never achieved and only received can seem extremely foreign and evasive. 

 We have to take the time to get calm and grounded so that we aren't accidentally hijacking our own sex hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone if we want to create a baby out of a state of union. Even if you're already doing IVF, you still want to be able to connect with your partner and enjoy it.

Today's meditation will focus on the connection between the first and second chakra, stabilizing our fight-or-flight response in order to help us regulate our reproductive hormones. Helping us to move from, "I deserve" to "I have." So, let's get started.

 Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. If you're sitting, make sure that the spine is erect without tension. We call your alignment exercise from day one, stacking each chakra over the next from the pelvis up. Imagine that there's a string at the top of your head pulling everything into perfect, yet gentle alignment. 

Begin to observe your breath, just the gentle entering, and exiting using the part of your mind that's listening to my voice. Observe its inhaled and its exhales if you've had a particularly stressful day and you are in a place where you feel comfortable to exhale audibly, just let that go with the breath.

Maybe you can even imagine your worries or your stresses leaving on the wave of each exhale.

Gently begin to move your attention away from the breath and into the center of your head. Move your awareness all the way down to the base of the spine, the root chakra located in the center of your body between the perineum and the last vertebrae.

Maybe you can sense its deep red color.

This area is open and free of energetic debris. We feel stable and calm, provided for and safe.

Allow this chakra to begin to spin in your mind's eye or maybe just a sense of energy that you have in this area. Don't worry about which direction it spins, just imagine it's going like a gear.

As it moves, it burns off any insecurities around not having enough.

About a handbreadth above that chakra is the second chakra or our sexual chakra. Maybe, you can see or imagine its brilliant orange light, again, looking like a gear. This gear begins to spin in an opposite direction though from the root chakra below it, like interlocking watch gears feeding energetically off one another, bridging the gap between adrenaline and our reproductive hormones. When our second chakra is open and free, they are like a magnet.

Polarizing our partner to come next to us, near us, to be with us to create life. We're also a magnet of abundance, drawing in our heart's desires, the ability to form them into completion. Allow yourself to just sit for a moment with this visualization of the red and orange gear interlocking with one another, cleaning out any limiting beliefs as they spin.

 The vibration to strengthen the root chakra is lam, L-A-M, lam.

The vibration to strengthen the second chakra is vam, V-A-M, vam.

For the next five minutes, sit quietly with your awareness and attention in your lower abdomen in these two chakras. Listening to the silent repetition of lam vam, lam vam emanating from this place, strengthening your ability to remain calm in the state of stress.

Remember, the mantra is never forced. It's always gentle and when you find that you've drifted into thoughts or physical sensations, which is completely normal, just come back to listening to the silent repetition lam vam, lam vam. I'll ring a soft bell when it's time to let the mantra go.

Gently release the mantra, allow yourself to sit quietly for a moment and just observe the shift that you've made into a state of calmness, greater well-being, and heightened reproductive capability. You can say this any time, any place yourself that you need a little reminder to just stay calm, lam vam. Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to Fertile Minds Radio, hosted at www.LadyPotions.com, where you'll find past episodes, show notes, and free meditations. If you've benefited from what you've heard, leave a comment or review so it makes it easier for others to find this valuable wisdom. Let's help elevate each other. Thanks for listening.

photo credit Charles Postiaux @charlpost

@ladypotions4u on Instagram

EPISODE 20 | MINDFUL MOMENT | A Meditation to Help with Implantation While #TTC

A meditation to provide more peace and joy along your fertility road trip.

Description: Feelings of loneliness, fear, and doubt are universal to a woman during her fertility road trip. It is common to feel hopeful and confident one moment and then isolated and frazzled the next. Today’s mindful moment episode will be all about restoring more peace and joy into your space, and to remind you that we are all connected and can send healing energy and love to one another, especially during a time such as implantation.

We will dive deep in a meditation that came out organically as I was working with a lovely woman on her our experience. Today’s meditation will help you connect to your heart, let go of attachment, and breathe in faith and gratitude. To share your own fertility story, please email me at hillary@ladypotions.com. I look forward to connecting with you, as you are what this podcast is all about.


[1:53] The difference between a positive and negative stress experience is the beholder’s perception of time.

[2:35] This episode is dedicated to Lindsey, who inspired Hillary as she is brave and inspiring along her fertility road trip. This meditation that came out organically as they were working together and Hillary recommends this as a useful tool for relaxation during the implantation process.

[8:02] Meditation begins.



Fertile Minds on LibSyn

Fertile Minds on iTunes

American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine

Continue Your Journey:

@ladypotions4u on Twitter

@ladypotions4u on Instagram

Special Thanks to Christopher Lloyd Clarke for music

EPISODE 9 | MINDFUL MOMENTS | Forgiveness Meditations for Your Fertility Journey

A Fertility Meditation -Honing the Skill of Forgiveness

We are in interesting times. Everywhere you turn there seem to be intense emotions and angry accusations flying. From the #metoo to righteous anger over recent violent events, I thought it was a good time to record an antidote to all of this anger. Today we will be focusing on the skill of forgiveness. It's a skill that needs to be practiced in order to make it a permanent part of ourselves & anyone who's been trying to conceive can attest to the myriad of ways the Universe is presenting them with an opportunity to learn to forgive yourself and others. 


[:57] Anger is a powerful emotion and one that can cause great harm or tremendous growth. It's completely up to us how we choose to use it in our lives. And I say use it because it can create great movement in our lives and a fertility journey. Finally letting ourselves off the hook for something we did when we were 20, forgiving our partner if they have some sort of block to having a child whether that’s mental or physical, or forgiving ourselves for something we did or said, especially if when hormonally hijacked on something like Clomid can be key to opening up space within ourselves.

[1:15] Remaining angry with someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Imagine what it does when the person you are angry with is you! Refusing to acknowledge our anger with ourselves or someone else can cause great harm on all three levels — physically, emotionally, and mentally. From a TCM perspective, we actually diagnose a type of depression that is the result of anger and frustration being turned inwards and pushed down until it eventually eats up all of a person's joy and turns into a smoldering depression. Sometimes I see this as a major cause of unexplained infertility.

[2:23] So what is the solution? First, identify what you are actually angry about, who you are angry at, and what part you played in the situation. After we identify it, we accept it as something that happened in the past or a past version of ourselves if we are to blame and then we commit to continue to release it as many times as it takes until we reach a state of complete forgiveness for everyone involved. This takes great patience and commitment but it’s the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

[3:20] Forgiveness is never for the other person. It's always for ourselves. It's letting go of something that is causing us great pain and it takes incredible strength and repetition to continue to forgiveness. One must not confuse this with weakness or with letting the other person or ourselves off of the hook.

[3:58] When you find you are having trouble forgiving, remember we are all human. And just as you’re not the culmination of one thing or one action or mistake, neither is someone else.

[4:04] In today's meditation we will be quietly asking ourselves some questions so we can zero in on where we carry the anger or frustration in our body and we will use a mantra to help release the bodily feeling or the obsessive thoughts that sometimes occur with anger. According to Ram Das in Buddhism mantra means “mind protecting.” A mantra protects the mind by preventing it from going into its usual mechanical habits, which often are not our optimal conscious perspective.

[4:50] Mantras can be super helpful when we are feeling consumed by a feeling or replaying someone's word or a situation in our head. Not only can you use this as the mantra during sitting meditation, but you can use it in your waking day when you become aware that your thoughts have drifted back into replay mode. When you become aware this is happening, simply repeat the mantra to yourself several times until you feel some space or peace open up inside of you.

[5:54] Today we will be using a mantra heralding the archetype of the Green Tara. In the Mahayana Buddhist tradition, it is believed that she is a Bodhisatta, or a Buddha, who has chosen to stay accessible to humans to help relieve their suffering. She is said to awaken our wisdom so we see the truth of our reality and to heighten the compassion of the person repeating her mantra or focusing on her figure.

[6:22] Buddhists say her qualities are accessible to anyone regardless of religion or creed, so fear not if aren't Buddhist, it can still be a strong practice. However, If you have a strong Christian background and this makes you uncomfortable I wish to stress that this isn't worshiping false Gods, rather it is asking to have the same qualities the figure was known to embody.

[7:27] The Sanskrit mantra we will be using is a bit of tongue twister, "Om Tare Tu Tare Ture Swaha" but that's okay because it will act as a magnet of concentration. Sanskrit mantras are interesting because they are based on seed syllables or Bija mantras, that set up vibrations fields though sound. They work even when recited silently, reverberating within.

[7:49] Meditation begins.


[23:28]  Anytime in your waking day if you sense anger, or frustration, silently to yourself use the mantra to help release it as you remember your commitment to forgive for the sake of yourself.

[24:01] POEM from Prayers of Honoring, by Pixie Lighthorse.


Continue Your Journey & References: